6:00am - 8:00am ::boop beep boop beep::

Season Finale! Season Finale! Get your beers ready! Pop that cork! Get ready to DRINK! (I hope)

We left useless Kim at the airport being nothing but trouble. Olivia is being shifty and just might get caught with her hands in the cookie jar. The cookie jar of contract killing. Shameful.

I'm loving the powerpoint extravaganza going on while the prez is briefing the joint chiefs or whatever she's got going on. It's like watching An Inconvenient Truth. She's definitely going to take her act on the road.

Renee's gone all Crypt Keeper again. She's making the big eyes and the frowny prune face. She better be careful--if someone slaps her on the back , it might stay that way.

I like that Ethan is back. I might be still have a shot at him being part of the whole conspiracy business. Also, for a guilty person, she's being a total BEYOTCH. A real C U next tuesday.

I'm digging the whole airport terminal scene. That is, until Kim goes off to chase the bad guy. I mean, I guess she's trying not to be useless, but I didn't see her pick up the knife (which, by the way I'm wondering what crack airport security let a knife and gun through). So is she going to bludgeon him with her dead cell? USELESS!

"One has to be prepared when dealing with Olivia." Oh, Ethan. Such venom in the voice when speaking of Her Snakiness. Maybe Aaron Pierce's glorious goodness has spread to all the upper muckity mucks.

Tony is still a good guy. I'm convinced of it. He's trying to worm his way to the top of the heap of baddies and then Take. Them. Down. Jack Bauer-style. Ya think?

STOP, DROP, AND ROLL, KIM! STOP, DROP AND ROOOLLLLLLLLL! Again, I say USELESS. She should have known emergency procedures for when one finds one's self on fire. I kind of forgot Kim was a systems analyst at CTU. Probably because it was only for a hot minute.

Since when do .mp3 files make the tape rewind-y noise? I'm 100% sure they don't.

OH SNAP! Ethan's venomous spitting out of the name Olivia is nothing compared to the pure disdain that Secret Service Agent to the Stars Aaron Pierce has for Olivia.

Tony IS a good guy! Wow. This Alan Wilson thing is spanning lots of seasons. Michele Dessler, David Palmer, and the eeeeevil President Logan. Nice. Yeah, he's a little batshit insane, but Tony's still a good guy.....sort of....right?

What was with the weird kiss on the cheek when that Kara chick went up to the Big Bad? That was uncomfortable.

More gasoline spills. Tony fully stole that shoot-the-gas idea from Jack.

Um....for real? The whole Renee tuck and roll of the truck was the most action we've seen from her this whole season. Who knew she had it in her? Oh wait. She didn't. Her stunt people did.

Oh dear. We didn't know Michele was pregnant. Ooh. And he gave Jack the, "how would Terri feel about that?" Ouch.

Dude. Trailer for 'Public Enemies'? I'm in.

Renee can make him talk! She learned so much from Jack today. Jack is sort of like her torture sensei. But wait...is he advising her not to torture? That's so unlike him.

Renee: "I don't know what to say"
Jack: "Don't say anything at all."
Me: ::HURL::

First Dude is alive!!! Well, we knew he was alive, but still. There he is. We haven't seen him in HOURS. Shouldn't he be a little pissed at his daughter for being such a bratty pain in the ass all the time? Really? Really. They raised the little pain in the ass. She's been a bratty, bitchy, ladder-climber apparently forever. Doesn't that make it their bad?

Hooray for Chloe/Garofs truces. They're BFFs now.

I would say that Olivia will come back in another season as the Big Bad, but she's really not smart enough, is she? Way to NOT take responsibility for anything you've done.

Ok, so Ethan wasn't a bad guy. I thought he was going to have something to do with something.

UGH. Here I was thinking the Prez was the next best thing to David Palmer. She was really good this season, wasn't she? I was just sitting thinking how much I think she is easily my favorite new character this season. But of course, Pruney has to go and ruin it for me. She's gone full Crypt Keeper and is trying to be all tough but she's pretty much just super annoying.

Will Jack live? Will Jack die? Will Kim try Proactiv? I guess we'll just have to wait for next season. Until then, kids....it's been fun. Have a good....summer? Year? 8-10 when Kiefer gets out of the chokey? Well, until whenever...

Damnits:
-"Damnit" from Kim. Dead cell phones are the worst. Don't you just want someone to yell, "SHIT!" or drop an F-Bomb? Those are so fun to drop.
-"Damnit, Tony LOOK at me!" Jack all trussed up and trying to die with dignity.

There's no/we don't have times:
-"My father is dying. And we don't know how much time he has left." Useless Kim. It still totally counts.

Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Hijacking his own team. What?
-Taking out 3 dudes 10 mins after a spinal tap.

5:00am - 6:00am ::boop beep boop beep::

ohmigod. I can't remember a time when I wasn't watching this damn show. And why is history repeating itself? Is Kiefer going to go to the chokey after every season? WTF, Kiefer? Do you just not want to be Jack Bauer anymore?

Brokedown Kimmy is back to be a pain in the ass again.

Dude, it's cold blooded that they're going to release the pathogen on a commuter train. I mean, I had moments where I was on the train and REALLY didn't want to go to work, but I didn't hope for a deadly virus or anything. I just hoped the train would stall out when I had a good book and didn't have to pee or anything. I'd just wait patiently, listening to music and reading a good book while the transit peeps fixed the train. The only time that ever happened to me it was when I was going to meet someone for brunch on a Sunday. Instead of being a welcome break from work, I missed brunch. Buzzkil.

YESSSSSSSS. A good Jack line. "Give him the morphine, but only enough to take the pain out of his voice." Greatness.

Chloe/Garofs showdowns are fun for me. Chloe's all, "And also....finger tattoos are so over, Garofs."

I'm a little disappointed in Aaron Pierce for giving away the farm to sneaky Olivia over the phone. He knows better than that. How does sneaky Olivia know Martin the assassin booker? I wish I knew an assassin booker. Instead, I have to rely on my fists of fury. I do want to know who the assassin is, though. And why Livvy doesn't want him mad at her. Will she get got??

I still don't know the name of the chick with the wigs. I never can remember it. She gets to wear fun costumes though. There aren't enought disguises in this show. Disguises make everything more exciting and fun.

Oh, Jack and Tony reunited and it feels so good. But why is Tony pretty much running an international terror ring from a Sidekick?

Garofs/Chloe showdown now?? Garofs is all, "you're old and don't get cell phones. Why don't you go watch Dora the Explorer with your kid."

Is Tony going to turn out to be a good guy in the end? I wouldn't blame him if he didn't since they sent him out like a punk the first time they 'killed' him.

It's counting down! boop beep boop beep boop beep Did you notice that the timer was at 1:24. 24! Get it!

JACK SAVES L.A.!!!!! Again!!!!

Oh no. But of course, now that the immediate threat is over, Jack's condition must worsen. How else will we keep the drama going for the remaining hours?

See??? I told you Kim is going to be a pain in the ass. She is a magnet for trouble, that one. She has been causing nothing but trouble since Day 1. OH! And someone (Mike??) recently reminded me about Kevin Dillon stalking her all crazy in the woods before he moved on to being Johnny Drama instead of "that guy." Nice one.

Ugh. Sneaky Olivia is becoming cheap actress Olivia. Don't you DARE play on the emotions of the pure of heart Aaron Pierce! For shame. He's a glorious example of lightness and truth and the dark-hearted Olivia tried to take advantage of that? Not my Aaron Pierce. He sees the evil in those that are so. She's such a snake. This is why Aaron Pierce is the Secret Service Agent to the Stars.

This episode is so great with the Janis/Chloe moments. They're taking it old school and I love it.

Um...if I was in an airport and saw some guy with an obvious camera with a full screen recording on it of the chick sitting right in front of him, I would IMMEDIATELY call him out as being a scumbag. Again, I say, WTF? If you see something, say something.


Damnits:
-"Damnit, Chloe. We're gonna have to do better than that." Drink.
-Whisper damnit by the terrorist leader ring guy.

There's no/we don't have times:
-"I didn't have time to decrypt all the location data." Drink.
-"We're running out of time. We're gonna have to narrow that down." Jack. Drink triple. They got us with a 1-2-3! holla!

Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Torture. Again. Obviously.
-Giving morphine only to take the pain out of a guy's voice.
-Not letting things turn into a pursuit by smashing into Tony's van.
-Saving the world.

4:00am - 5:00am ::boop beep boop beep::

I'm super late, but you can deal with it. I actually started watching this last night, but I was so tired that I nearly went cross-eyed, so I just went to sleep instead. It was for the best.

Ok, so I know it's only been, like, 8 mins in 24 world, but it's been 100 years in the real world and I forgot that Chloe didn't know Jack started huffing off the bio weapon. Her BFFs are dropping like flies!

Did Tony know he was going to blackmail some Pakistani kid into taking the fall for the bio release? I'm just fascinated as to how he got a Jihad banner so quickly. Did he have it laying around?

Aaron Pierce does NOT like the First Daughter's shenanigans. He is far too good and upstanding to condone such things. He was protective of her at first, but now he's seeing her for the nut-crazy skank that she is. Another one let you down, Aaron Pierce. Chin up, kiddo.

Um...some mosque stuff happened. Jack arrests a guy just to keep him from using the phone. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Tony grows himself a terrorist. Grow-your-own-terrorist then convinces his brother that he's the big bad and they off to do terror stuff.

Olivia went all muder for hire on Waxy McHodges. She's pretty crazy in the brain. OH LOOK!! First Dude is back for some white house fun. He clearly made his little girl grow a conscience. Sorry, Olivia. You can't unring that bell.

Aaaaaaand Boom.

Ok, for serious, Olivia has crazy on the brain, but she's also dumb as rocks. Way to confess to contract killing over the phone.

What The EFFFFFFF. Pruney has a big mouth, too? Why are they treating the imam they met 20 mins ago (literally) as if he's their BFF and should obviously know all about Jack & The Bio Weapon and their operations. Ridiculous.

Damnits:
-Good ol' fashioned Damnnit from the Prez when she finds out Waxy got melted.
-"Damnit he's bleeding out! We need a medic now!" 2 cheers for Jack Damnit. DRINK

There's no/we don't have times:
-"we're on a timetable here. How long is this going to take?" Tony. Count it.

Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Unlawful arrests.
-Emergency medical care and stuff