To review: Jack and Pruney got arrested because Billy Walsh is trying to save his own heiney. Diner girl is so dead. First daughter doesn't give a crap about her mom, but just the mention of her pops and Aaron Peirce's shining beacon of hope and light makes her follow him anywhere.
Aww. Crazy Erica is in on Billy Walsh's half-baked treasony plan. AND apparently, he didn't want her to have "one of her meltdowns." Why would you get in cahoots with someone with a known case of the crazies, I ask you? Stupid, Billy Walsh. That was a tactical error. He'd never make it in CTU.
Oh, Pruney. You have broken your promises to so many people today. No one believes anything you say anymore. You're now the Pruney who cried wolf. You've also now turned Diner Girl into a mini super-spy. She thinks she can be a stunt driver from the back seat. Don't you know that only Jack Bauer can give his word? I told you Diner Girl was dead. Way to kill your witnesses, Pruney. Jerk. Next time you pull a gun on Jack he WILL kill you. Fair warning.
"You are needed in the Oval Office." "YOU are needed to shut your trap.I'm the President, biatch!" Again, I should totally write this show.
Dubaku is the worst dier ever. His only saving grace is that he keeps his lists of baddies in his intestines. Billy Walsh is an eavesdropper and Erica Crazy-pants has her long-predicted meltdown. Billy Walsh is a slimy self-saver, but he makes this shit interesting. Oh, Erica Crazy-pants, he's never going to leave his wife, and he's probably going to kill you. If only you weren't so crazy.
"It's got an auto-erase function. We've only got one download." OF COURSE you do. Lets make sure all things are set up for real and immediate failure. Is Crazy-pants in the Mainframe room at Terminal 4? If so, she's a goner. No good can come of working at Terminal 4. Told ya. Now you're crazy and dead. Office affair rule of thumb....he's never going to leave his wife and he'll probably kill you at Terminal 4. Garofs is going to out their affair, though. She knows about their sordid business.
L-Mo is a dumb fuck. That is all.
"I'd like to speak with my attorney." said Billy Walsh. That shit would get you NO WHERE fast at CTU. The FBI is for wimps.
See? Pruney can't even handle collateral damage. Diner Girl was slightly smarter than Crazy-pants, so for that, I give her credit, but come on. Jack must be going soft. The Jack I know and love wouldn't take that kind of face-slapping from Pruney. She's cruising for a Bauer bruising.
Bill Buchanan is the shit. I hope he can get Tony off the hook a little, too. Especially because, as Tony puts it, "This ain't over yet," Can't save the day in 10 hours. We clearly need another bad guy to stretch this day out so that it can be saved in precisely 24 hours. Obviously.
SPOILER ALERT: Candyman is going to attack the White House. He still scares me.
Damnits:
-Big one by Crazy-pants. Her list-crashing is not going to plan. Cue the meltdown. I don't buy her as smart. At all. It's a good thing she won't live through the day.
There's no\we don't have times:
-Paramedic. "Sir, we don't have time." Jack doesn't need to hear that shit and now has the contact list that was hiding in Dubaku's guts.
-Jack to Tony--"...he'll start running. You don't have a lot of time." Close enough. DRINK!!!
Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Conspicuous tailing. No need for safe distances or safe driving for the matter. Jack will always get his man.
-Spontaneous surgical extractions of bad-guy lists. 'Nuff said.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
4:00pm - 5:00pm ::boop beep boop beep::
Will First Dude Live? Will First Dude die? Will Dubaku's lady-piece's sister blow up his spot and get herself a dirt nap? Will Renee keep up the premise of usefulness? (Renee's already had a dirt nap once this season. heehee) So many questions. So, little time...
See what I did?? I already worked in a NO TIME!
BB and Chloe are security gurus! I love the Scooby gang coming back together.
Dubaku is scaring diner chick. Cutting her off from her family and whatnot. I don't think she's going to like being an African princess married to a warlord. How can she leave tonight? Doesn't she need to make sure her passport is in order and that she's had all of her malaria shots and such?
L-Mo is totally breaking up with Pruney face Renee. We saw this coming for miles. Wash the blood from your hands Renee! The death is on your soul! Out damn spot! Jack keeps Renee from being a huge downer. L-Mo can detect the lust in her voice when Jack walks in. They're secret boring-ass love affair is so over. I need more Billy Walsh/Office Tramp love affair. I bet theirs is way more exciting. She's going to get all unhinged soon, too.
PRODUCT PLACEMENT!!!! (seriously--so much product placement)
I hope there is a Chloe/Garfos showdown. Is Garofs with the baddies? Do you think? Even if she's not, she's giving Chloe the side eye in a big way.
OMG!!! BB is going to send Tony Almeida to get Lady Prez's daughter. If Tony can broker a reunion, then maybe he'll get a presidential pardon and he and Jack can be super twins with BB and Chloe.
AARON PIERCE! AARON PIERCE!!!! HOLY CRAP! Secret Service Agent to the Stars is back! ohmigod ohmigod omigod. I want to know everything he's been up to. Is he still hanging out with former boozy first lady? I have so many questions. I'm just so happy that Aaron Pierce is back to be a shining light of goodness in all of our lives.
There is a lot of people giving their word and having no options in this episode. It's like the poor man's catch phrase episode of 24. If it weren't for Aaron Pierce, SS agent to the Stars, we'd be S.O.L.
Billy Walsh is the moley moley mole, huh? I'm not surprised.I wonder if Erica Office Tramp knows he's with the evildoers. Maybe she's an evildoer, too. That really just means that when she takes the flying leap off the deep end, it will be super entertaining.
Next week: Dubaku looks like he's got some murder in his heart for diner chick. And it looks like Renee is going to catch a case of the crazies on Jack and then potentially make out with him???? Gross
Last week was such a tease compared to this week.
Damnits:
-"I don't give a damn." Lady Prez. I'm counting it. I like her. She's the next best prez since David Palmer. Now we have to live with being in good hands with him and Allstate.
There's No/We Don't Have Times:
-There was a lot of "we don't have another choice(s)"
Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Giving Renee stuff to do and keeping her from doing dumb crap.
See what I did?? I already worked in a NO TIME!
BB and Chloe are security gurus! I love the Scooby gang coming back together.
Dubaku is scaring diner chick. Cutting her off from her family and whatnot. I don't think she's going to like being an African princess married to a warlord. How can she leave tonight? Doesn't she need to make sure her passport is in order and that she's had all of her malaria shots and such?
L-Mo is totally breaking up with Pruney face Renee. We saw this coming for miles. Wash the blood from your hands Renee! The death is on your soul! Out damn spot! Jack keeps Renee from being a huge downer. L-Mo can detect the lust in her voice when Jack walks in. They're secret boring-ass love affair is so over. I need more Billy Walsh/Office Tramp love affair. I bet theirs is way more exciting. She's going to get all unhinged soon, too.
PRODUCT PLACEMENT!!!! (seriously--so much product placement)
I hope there is a Chloe/Garfos showdown. Is Garofs with the baddies? Do you think? Even if she's not, she's giving Chloe the side eye in a big way.
OMG!!! BB is going to send Tony Almeida to get Lady Prez's daughter. If Tony can broker a reunion, then maybe he'll get a presidential pardon and he and Jack can be super twins with BB and Chloe.
AARON PIERCE! AARON PIERCE!!!! HOLY CRAP! Secret Service Agent to the Stars is back! ohmigod ohmigod omigod. I want to know everything he's been up to. Is he still hanging out with former boozy first lady? I have so many questions. I'm just so happy that Aaron Pierce is back to be a shining light of goodness in all of our lives.
There is a lot of people giving their word and having no options in this episode. It's like the poor man's catch phrase episode of 24. If it weren't for Aaron Pierce, SS agent to the Stars, we'd be S.O.L.
Billy Walsh is the moley moley mole, huh? I'm not surprised.I wonder if Erica Office Tramp knows he's with the evildoers. Maybe she's an evildoer, too. That really just means that when she takes the flying leap off the deep end, it will be super entertaining.
Next week: Dubaku looks like he's got some murder in his heart for diner chick. And it looks like Renee is going to catch a case of the crazies on Jack and then potentially make out with him???? Gross
Last week was such a tease compared to this week.
Damnits:
-"I don't give a damn." Lady Prez. I'm counting it. I like her. She's the next best prez since David Palmer. Now we have to live with being in good hands with him and Allstate.
There's No/We Don't Have Times:
-There was a lot of "we don't have another choice(s)"
Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Giving Renee stuff to do and keeping her from doing dumb crap.
Monday, February 9, 2009
3:00pm - 4:00pm ::boop beep boop beep::
From real presidential speech to fake presidential speech. Weird.
First dude is trapped with the baddies! And they're going to use him to blackmail the prez? um....ok. Maybe Jack Bauer will save him. I like the prez. She's kind of hardcore. She's all, "I'll sacrifice my husband if I have to. Hell, I'm the prez, it's kind of my job. Sorry sweetie. I'll send Jack Bauer, but he didn't make any promises. I'm prepared to lose you." It's cold blooded, but I respect it.
Bill Buchanan is pretty smooth too. Renee Walker is a big pain in the ass. She really needs to step up her game. She can't recover the CIP device, she can't keep up with Jack Bauer, she can't save herself when buried alive. Useless.
They now know that Fetus Agent was one of the baddies. It's about time. Now they need to get Money-grubbing Agent. He's on shift at 4, you know. Jack is going to save the day! He has to take useless Renee with him, though. Really, she's only going to slow him down. Renee is totally booty calling Larry Moss to do what she wants! Well, not really booty calling, but they're having an affair and stuff, so she trusts the booty. Careful, Renee. It's burned others in the past.
I really wanted to change Larry's line from, "Oh my god. I thought I'd never see you again" to, "Oh, my god. You look like shit. I hope I never see you again." This show would be so much better if I wrote it. :-P
Billy Walsh better be careful. The Erica chick is going to exact some revenge on him. No doubt. Hell hath no fury like an agent with level 3 clearance scorned. She's got a case of the crazies. I promise you.
Jack is totally telling the lovebirds what's the what. The pair that Larry grew last week just retracted. He's nothing compared to La Bauer. It was a puss move throwing the keys, too. What a weenie. It's called collateral damage, L-Mo. Oh, I'm psyched that I just thought of that name. He's L-Mo from now on! Yippeeeeeee!!!
Yeah, Renee sucks at intimidation. Although, the baby looked scared. But I'm pretty sure he was just wondering if a vampire bit her neck. That's right, kid. a vampire named JACK'S GUN, BIATCH!!!! Mostly now he's afraid of her pruney face. You ARE a monster, Renee. A monster.
Taking out M-G Agent and his 90's pseudo bowl-cut hairdo. He looks like a character from Gleaming the Cube who just never changed his 'do. I can dig it.
DISGUISES??!?!?!! Oh, Bill! Thank you! This made my night. I love disguises.
Oh, snap! Renee can't handle the badassedness of intimidating mothers and babies, but she's in.....until tomorrow. Then she retires pruney face. What she doesn't know is that this will haunt her for the rest of her life....and L-Mo will never look at her the same way again. Oh, Renee, you're in for a rude awakening. In the meantime, L-Mo has his hands full with that rascal Billy Walsh.
What's up with waitress girl? There has to be some reason why the bad guy is with her. Her sister can't put the fright in him without something that throws a wrench in his plans, right? Evil geniuses don't really have girlfriends unless they are their evil henchmen (henchwomen?) or serve some evil purpose. Maybe waitress girl is in on this. I think her sister's gonna get dead, though.
It's a trap! It's a trap! Wasted disguises! Where's the First Dude? Is he dead? Or does he just have 8 fingers now?
Renee shot a guy! She's not useless!
Oh, man. The First Dude done got shot. They'll save him, though. The prez is going to have to explain how she was willing to let him die and junk. Awkward......
This episode made me kinda happy. We got back to the meat of 24 and multiple instances of our favorite catch phrases! Did I miss any?
Damnits:
-"Damnit. Which street is he on now?" (or something when they're chasing Money-Grubbing Agent) FINALLY a Jack Bauer Damnit!!!! Drink double!!!
-Whisper Damnit when he can't drive his crashed car! Finally, Jack! Have you been reading this? I didn't know if you loved us anymore, but now I feel the love!
-"Damnit, Renee! What the hell are you doing with this guy?" L-Mo damnit. He's jealous of Jack's awesomeness and thinks his lady friend is into Jack's hotness. So much Jack.
There's no/we don't have times:
-"We need you to go along with his demands and buy us some time. Madam President, you don't have another choice." If you jumble the words in those sentences, it totally counts. COUNT IT!!!
-"There's no time for that!" Renee trying to get her boyf to believe all her crazy-ass stories. Damn you, Renee! You're taking all the damnits and no-times!
-"You are running out of time" to M-G Agent trying to find the First Dude. Drink Triple!!!!
Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Double agentry. Duh. He even shocks the hell out of the prez. She didn't see it coming, but she's down with Jack plans. That's smooth.
-Using mirrors to surveil around corners. He should probably lend his compact to pruney face so that she can see what her pruney face looks like.
First dude is trapped with the baddies! And they're going to use him to blackmail the prez? um....ok. Maybe Jack Bauer will save him. I like the prez. She's kind of hardcore. She's all, "I'll sacrifice my husband if I have to. Hell, I'm the prez, it's kind of my job. Sorry sweetie. I'll send Jack Bauer, but he didn't make any promises. I'm prepared to lose you." It's cold blooded, but I respect it.
Bill Buchanan is pretty smooth too. Renee Walker is a big pain in the ass. She really needs to step up her game. She can't recover the CIP device, she can't keep up with Jack Bauer, she can't save herself when buried alive. Useless.
They now know that Fetus Agent was one of the baddies. It's about time. Now they need to get Money-grubbing Agent. He's on shift at 4, you know. Jack is going to save the day! He has to take useless Renee with him, though. Really, she's only going to slow him down. Renee is totally booty calling Larry Moss to do what she wants! Well, not really booty calling, but they're having an affair and stuff, so she trusts the booty. Careful, Renee. It's burned others in the past.
I really wanted to change Larry's line from, "Oh my god. I thought I'd never see you again" to, "Oh, my god. You look like shit. I hope I never see you again." This show would be so much better if I wrote it. :-P
Billy Walsh better be careful. The Erica chick is going to exact some revenge on him. No doubt. Hell hath no fury like an agent with level 3 clearance scorned. She's got a case of the crazies. I promise you.
Jack is totally telling the lovebirds what's the what. The pair that Larry grew last week just retracted. He's nothing compared to La Bauer. It was a puss move throwing the keys, too. What a weenie. It's called collateral damage, L-Mo. Oh, I'm psyched that I just thought of that name. He's L-Mo from now on! Yippeeeeeee!!!
Yeah, Renee sucks at intimidation. Although, the baby looked scared. But I'm pretty sure he was just wondering if a vampire bit her neck. That's right, kid. a vampire named JACK'S GUN, BIATCH!!!! Mostly now he's afraid of her pruney face. You ARE a monster, Renee. A monster.
Taking out M-G Agent and his 90's pseudo bowl-cut hairdo. He looks like a character from Gleaming the Cube who just never changed his 'do. I can dig it.
DISGUISES??!?!?!! Oh, Bill! Thank you! This made my night. I love disguises.
Oh, snap! Renee can't handle the badassedness of intimidating mothers and babies, but she's in.....until tomorrow. Then she retires pruney face. What she doesn't know is that this will haunt her for the rest of her life....and L-Mo will never look at her the same way again. Oh, Renee, you're in for a rude awakening. In the meantime, L-Mo has his hands full with that rascal Billy Walsh.
What's up with waitress girl? There has to be some reason why the bad guy is with her. Her sister can't put the fright in him without something that throws a wrench in his plans, right? Evil geniuses don't really have girlfriends unless they are their evil henchmen (henchwomen?) or serve some evil purpose. Maybe waitress girl is in on this. I think her sister's gonna get dead, though.
It's a trap! It's a trap! Wasted disguises! Where's the First Dude? Is he dead? Or does he just have 8 fingers now?
Renee shot a guy! She's not useless!
Oh, man. The First Dude done got shot. They'll save him, though. The prez is going to have to explain how she was willing to let him die and junk. Awkward......
This episode made me kinda happy. We got back to the meat of 24 and multiple instances of our favorite catch phrases! Did I miss any?
Damnits:
-"Damnit. Which street is he on now?" (or something when they're chasing Money-Grubbing Agent) FINALLY a Jack Bauer Damnit!!!! Drink double!!!
-Whisper Damnit when he can't drive his crashed car! Finally, Jack! Have you been reading this? I didn't know if you loved us anymore, but now I feel the love!
-"Damnit, Renee! What the hell are you doing with this guy?" L-Mo damnit. He's jealous of Jack's awesomeness and thinks his lady friend is into Jack's hotness. So much Jack.
There's no/we don't have times:
-"We need you to go along with his demands and buy us some time. Madam President, you don't have another choice." If you jumble the words in those sentences, it totally counts. COUNT IT!!!
-"There's no time for that!" Renee trying to get her boyf to believe all her crazy-ass stories. Damn you, Renee! You're taking all the damnits and no-times!
-"You are running out of time" to M-G Agent trying to find the First Dude. Drink Triple!!!!
Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Double agentry. Duh. He even shocks the hell out of the prez. She didn't see it coming, but she's down with Jack plans. That's smooth.
-Using mirrors to surveil around corners. He should probably lend his compact to pruney face so that she can see what her pruney face looks like.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
2:00pm - 3:00pm ::boop beep boop beep::
First and foremost...shout out to the overseas readers!!!! What up, Europe! Three cheers for foreign diplomacy! You guys rock hard and I love the crap out of you. Yeah, you're the shit.
Now down to business...Larry Moss just grew a pair. I swear, I heard his voice change. He doesn't know yet that his lady love is falling prey to the irresistible stench of Bauer. Renee is one smitten kitten and totally digging double agentry. I'm kind of impressed by it since they clearly dressed her in new I-wasn't-buried-alive-2-hours-ago clothes -- that fit perfectly, no less.
Star of this episode (pun intended): Garofs with the fancy finger tattoo. Are you allowed to have visible tattoos in the FBI? Finger-tat has been prominently showcased in multiple episodes so far. Anytat, she's got the ear of the Ohio chem plant guy. Wasn't he the dad on My So Called Life? Brian Krackow last year and Angela Chase's dad this year? Do they share a casting director? Are we to expect a more angsty turn to 24 this year? Again, I ask...where is Jordan Catalano? Oh yeah, he's off being emo. Righty-o.
I'm kind of loving this whole chemical plant buisness. If the gas is released, it could kill people 30,000 people within miles of it. Silent but deadly. hehe. Like a fart in the wind! hahahaha. I'm 5.
Mr. Chase is a chauvinist, but I'm pretty sure it's more that he can't remember Garofs' name. More importantly, he has a pretty amazing bluetooth if he can put on a gas mask and carry on a conversation without anyone knowing the difference. He's quite selfless for a chauvinist, too.
I don't know if this show has conditioned me to think everyone is a sneaky bastard, but I suddenly don't trust Renee. Maybe she'll surprise me, but I think she might be a sneaky pants.
Garofs and Billy Walsh are kind of like a brokedown version of Chloe and Milo. Just saying.
Secret service kind of blows if they "can't find" they First Dude and Fetus Agent for over an hour. Isn't it pretty much required to have access at all times?? First dude is clearly no longer paralyzed, but now walks like Gumby or a drunk teenager which mostly just makes me giggle.
I'm pretty certain that Tony is not going to turn himself in when all this is over. You can tell by the goatee.
Um...Dubaku apparently lives in a Principal's office. How's your frosted glass door, criminal mastermind??
Damnits:
None??? WTF?
There's no/we don't have time:
I got a couple of close ones, but this season is shaping up to be the worst drinking game season ever. Sad.
Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Laser tag! They were playing laser tag that whole time. Seriously! I'm 100% sure they didn't have a set budget, so they went to a laser tag course to film that whole shootout scene. I'm not mad at them.
-Knowing that nervous, sweaty guys are wired with bombs.
Now down to business...Larry Moss just grew a pair. I swear, I heard his voice change. He doesn't know yet that his lady love is falling prey to the irresistible stench of Bauer. Renee is one smitten kitten and totally digging double agentry. I'm kind of impressed by it since they clearly dressed her in new I-wasn't-buried-alive-2-hours-ago clothes -- that fit perfectly, no less.
Star of this episode (pun intended): Garofs with the fancy finger tattoo. Are you allowed to have visible tattoos in the FBI? Finger-tat has been prominently showcased in multiple episodes so far. Anytat, she's got the ear of the Ohio chem plant guy. Wasn't he the dad on My So Called Life? Brian Krackow last year and Angela Chase's dad this year? Do they share a casting director? Are we to expect a more angsty turn to 24 this year? Again, I ask...where is Jordan Catalano? Oh yeah, he's off being emo. Righty-o.
I'm kind of loving this whole chemical plant buisness. If the gas is released, it could kill people 30,000 people within miles of it. Silent but deadly. hehe. Like a fart in the wind! hahahaha. I'm 5.
Mr. Chase is a chauvinist, but I'm pretty sure it's more that he can't remember Garofs' name. More importantly, he has a pretty amazing bluetooth if he can put on a gas mask and carry on a conversation without anyone knowing the difference. He's quite selfless for a chauvinist, too.
I don't know if this show has conditioned me to think everyone is a sneaky bastard, but I suddenly don't trust Renee. Maybe she'll surprise me, but I think she might be a sneaky pants.
Garofs and Billy Walsh are kind of like a brokedown version of Chloe and Milo. Just saying.
Secret service kind of blows if they "can't find" they First Dude and Fetus Agent for over an hour. Isn't it pretty much required to have access at all times?? First dude is clearly no longer paralyzed, but now walks like Gumby or a drunk teenager which mostly just makes me giggle.
I'm pretty certain that Tony is not going to turn himself in when all this is over. You can tell by the goatee.
Um...Dubaku apparently lives in a Principal's office. How's your frosted glass door, criminal mastermind??
Damnits:
None??? WTF?
There's no/we don't have time:
I got a couple of close ones, but this season is shaping up to be the worst drinking game season ever. Sad.
Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Laser tag! They were playing laser tag that whole time. Seriously! I'm 100% sure they didn't have a set budget, so they went to a laser tag course to film that whole shootout scene. I'm not mad at them.
-Knowing that nervous, sweaty guys are wired with bombs.
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