8:00pm - 9:00pm ::boop beep boop beep::

Alright cats and kittens, here's where we are:

Jack's poorly piloted radioactive glider went all leaky (surprise, surprise. please note that glider-piloting did NOT make it onto the list of things at which Jackypoo is smooth.). But the good pilot is dead, so now we've got terrorist infighting. Someone should tell Fayed that there is no "I" in "Terrorism." Oh, wait....

Gasp! Shock!! Astonishment!!! Everyone who knows and loves My So-Called Life NEEDS to recognize that Rain Man Hauser's brother--Mark Hauser--is Brian Krackow.

For real. Now this is officially my favorite episode of the season. If Angela Chase and Jordan Catalano show up, I will forgive ALL transgressions thus far this season. It's a shame that's unlikely since Claire Danes is busy at the Gap dancing around in boyfriend pants. It's also worth noting that Mark Hauser's id photo is his head shot will some official looking seals photoshopped in. Clearly, new id photos would have blown the budget for this episode.

Coverups and corruption! Bad news for Nadia.

Bad news for the poor man's David Palmer, too. Apparently, there's no confidentiality in the presidential medical bunker. I hope he doesn't have any STDs. Embarrassing. We should all get WWWPD? bracelets made. "What Would Wayne Palmer Do?" get it? ok, i know. lame.

Ok, so Nadia's off the hook, which means that I can still have hope that Bill Buchannen is the moley, moley mole. Of course, Nadia's only off the hook for now. They'll probably accuse/torture her 2-3 more times before the day is over and find out that BB is the mole. All is not lost, though. It seems that Milo and Mike Doyle did the classic Jack Bauer/Tony Almeida fist fight then become best super-bros. And methinks they're trying to make Milo and Nadia the new Tony and Michelle Dessler. Intriguing.

So, why didn't they tranq the whole Russian team? Wouldn't it make the most sense to tranq the henchmen, too? they're probably not as committed to the cause as Gredenko and would be much easier to break. Do I have to think of everything around here?!

The Veep is still drunk! he's definitely boning his assistant to get a little whiskey slipped in his Ovaltine. He's really going to need it now that Wayney P. is temporarily lucid. He's fresh out of a coma and still sounds less effed up than the Veep. And yet, in true 24 fashion, the usurping of presidential authority continues. it's good to know some things never change.

Things Jack Bauer is smooth at:
-Calming down the Autistic. He's like the Autism whisperer.

-Being internationally renowned. ALL the biggest international terrorists totally know who he is. I bet they think he's a myth until they actually come face to face with him.


"Damnit"s: 2! but I keep missing them! DAMNIT! you people are judgy.


"There's no/we don't have any time"s: 1 Jack-style. Carlos, that's a very detailed account.

7:00PM - 8:00PM ::boop beep boop beep::

Apologies for the delay, dear friends. Every once in a while, I have a life. Surprisingly, said life does not actually revolve around the tv schedule. Shocking, I know. Don't worry. It doesn't happen often. So here we go....

Lets discuss the drones, please. They look like they're filming an especially campy remake of the original Star Wars. I'm a little confused by the idea that criminal masterminds are using radioactive weapons...mounted on gliders....navigated using a flight simulator.....controlled by a joystick re purposed from an Atari they bought on ebay. wtf? Jack can't steer it at all, either. He probably never had an Atari or flight simulator because his dad was an evil genius and was too busy plotting world takeovers to so much as throw a baseball with his son in the yard. Selfish.

Wouldn't it be great if Bill Buchanan was the real mole? Or in the series finale of 24, we find out that Jack is a mental patient and each of these days is all in his head on a day he goes off his meds? I'm just saying. It would be pretty great.

Jealous Chloe is bigtime fun. Looks like she's got a little slutty streak when she's jealous. She's on to spy-Nadia and how she's charming security access (and the pants) from Milo. Poor, weak Milo must be stoned from the pain killers. Also, he must have read one of my posts and know that chicks will find his bullet wound scar way sexy. Way to keep up, milo. Hey, don't believe me? Look at Jack. He's pretty much swiss cheese at this point and the ladies can't get enough. But more on that later...

I'm kind of digging the drunk-with-power (or just drunk) Veep. I can't decide if 24 is trying to make a statement about all the white US prezzies being evil war mongers. The Palmer brothers are chock full of presidential integrity, but they seem to be the only ones. This is clearly not a prerequisite for the position on television any more than it is in real life politics. OH SNAP! yeah, I went there. Politicians are slimy. what.

WHAAAA?! Audrey's dead? Dude, someone took her OUT while trying to get to Jack....or DID THEY? Inconclusive identification of remains is intriguing. I'm not entirely sure why any woman--or man for that matter--would go near Jack knowing his track record. Someone warn boy-Kim's mom. She should know better. All his romantic interests end up dead. Except for trailer park lady. I'm pretty sure she's still around.
Furthermore, all his best friends are dead, maimed or unconscious. Think about it--friggin' Chloe is his best friend. Chloe! Roll that around in your brain a bit. Then again, if I was playing "which would you rather?", I would totally choose to have Chloe as a best friend instead of Chinese Torture Prison, so that's a point in the Chloe column.
Jack is definitely going to discover something in Audrey's file that will prove she's still alive somewhere, right? Right? Maybe she sacrificed herself to take Jack's place in Chinese Torture Prison. That would be so soap opera of 24 and I, for one would love it.

Love triangles in CTU (hexagons! rhombuses? rhombi? i don't know the plural of rhombus. octagons!) really spice things up in the face of international terror crisis. Morris/Chloe/Milo/Nadia/RickySchroeder(he tortures 'cause he loves). Please enjoy these photos of him. Awwwwwww.

HOT DOG!

I love that everyone in the room is shocked to find out that there's a leaky mole in CTU. It's like they have amnesia about all the other massive terrorist attack days. The 5 other ones to be exact. I've asked it before and I'll ask it again--do they give out CTU security clearance on a first come, first served basis? And does that amnesia also include the fact that the person they suspect is pretty much always set up by someone else? For super-smart people, these agents are pretty slow on the uptake.


Damnits: i didn't find any. did you?

There's no/we don't have any times: 1
B.B.- do you think "We don't have an hour." counts? well, I do. So it counts.

6:00pm - 7:00pm ::boop beep boop beep:: ***

Oh joy! Oh joy! Chloe is dissing ex-president Creepy!
Milo's back!
Mike Doyle is going to bring silver spoons together! Now we're getting somewhere. Think there's any chance they'll bring in Alfonso Ribiero to be Mike Doyle's right hand man? And if so, will he still do the Carlton dance? I bet the Ricker would love that.

They committed Martha? dang!

ah! hahahahha. Line of the night:
Milo: "are you alright?"
Morris: "the shirt's a blend. It doesn't wrinkle."
And the snappy, Morris comebacks have returned!

How quickly Tom Lennox finds moral highground. Wasn't it a couple of hours ago that he was trotting out blackmail to ditch Karen Hayes? It's amazing what a little kidnapping will do.

Um... i know it's government business and everything, But don't you think it's a little insensitive to randomly land a helicopter at the loony bin? Of course, it didn't seem to make anyone too anxious. 2 old dudes didn't even stop their tennis match despite the high helicopter winds that must have ensued.
Now, food throwing and stabbing? THAT's what I expect to see in a nut house. Dude--I love Martha-Designing-Woman-ex-President Creepy. She really gives 24 that certain pizzaz. I just adore that about her. She immediately starts screaming and then gets all, "what? i totally just did you guys a favor. Why don't you back off my shit and let me call my girl, Subarov. Damn."

Does anyone else think the Veep sounds like he's drunk? And that Markov lookes like Sam the Eagle from the Muppets?


ya think?




Things Jack Bauer is smooth at:
-disarming a suspect via belt

-playing dead/comatose and otherwise thwarting russian spies

-breaking up flirty basement shenanigans


Damnits: nil

There's no/we don't have any times: 3!
1 - ex-prez Creepy
1 - Maaaatha Logan
1 - Jack Bauer using the ever-glorious audible whisper

***Edit: since Dom won't join to add his own comments, but LOVES pointing out my shortcomings I've added his additions in his favorite color: fuscia.

5:00pm to 6:00pm ::boop beep boop beep::

Hello, kids. This week we're taking a field trip to the Russian Consolate for some information and a little light torture. Come along.

Chad Lowe is so wormy. He needs to take some Criminal Mastermind lessons from Papa Bauer. Seriously. What a weenie.

As disappointed as I am in this particular season, I always love when they throw in some Russian spies. No matter how hard they try, they can't make them look any less than cartoony. Bring on the cold war!!! Scowls! Vodka! Fur hats! ESPIONAGE! love it love it love it.

No good deed goes unpunished, Tom Lennox. Looks like the world won't be yours and Vigo's after all. It's going to be the Veep's and Vigo's. If you're lucky, Karen Hayes will come back and throw you a bone. Good luck with that.

Ok, so this week was a little slow for me again. I was most excited while watching the previews for next week. Ricky Schroeder! Jack's miraculous escape! Former first lady may or may not be shacking up with Special Agent to the stars, Aaron Pierce. Now we're talking, 24. Time to step it up. You're better than this.

More things Jack Bauer is so smooth at:
-Speaking Russian. He's more of a Renaissance man than I ever realized.

-Improvisational finger removal. Cigar cutter? clever, clever.


"Damnit"s: zilch once again

"There's no/we don't have any time"s: 1 (woohoo! finally!)

Until next week.... ::boop beep boop beep::