I was right! I was right! Soulpatch Schwartzman WAS trying to take over as the new and hair-flowy President Hassan. He's too weasly, though.
Last we left, Pruney was on her way off the deep end. She made is so the Russian dude can never be the "what has 2 thumbs" joke guy anymore and was making all kinds of heinous faces. Yep, that's still where we are.
Jack: "Hastings still needs to know the truth."
Pruney: "The truth?"
Jack: "That your unstable!"
Pruney: ::craziest of all crazy eyes::
PS--how did Renee chop off a dude's thumb with blood spraying everywhere and not get a drop on her? I guess blood doesn't stick to crazy.
Chloe is definitely going to call out Dana/Jenny for ditching out in the middle of the crisis. She's so good at that.
I keep expecting Hassan to ask Madam Prez if she wants to be a MILLIONAIRE!
I kind of keep expecting him to ask everyone that.
Russian brother love-fest. A little shmaltzy, but they must be going somewhere with it. Maybe the dr is connected, or they will get caught by CTU or something.
I love that Pruney calls Ziya a drama queen after just cutting off his thumb to take off a tracking bracelet. Really? Really.
Ok, so Dana/Jenny went to jail as a minor. So, 1 her fingerprints would be on record. One would think that CTU would check fingerprints as part of their background check. Can't fake those. CTU is the worst background checker EVER.
Oh dear. Jack followed the wrong vehicle. He is not smooth at that. Unfortunately, I think we're going to still have Pruney around for the rest of the day. Sheesh.
Wow. Only 1 hour this week seemed so short compared to 4 hours last week. I'll take it! Next week: DISGUISES!!! I saw Jack in some pretty fancy glasses.
Damnits:
-Mrs. Hassan: "Show me a little respect. I'm your wife, damnit."
-Jack: "Damnit, Renee. I am running this. Stop messing with me!"
-Jack with a big ol' Damnit when Pruney get chucked in the trunk of a car. Drink double since he yelled. (I make these rules up as I go along.)
-Jack: "Put me back on Renee's com. DAMNIT!" shit, you're all probably drunk by now.
There's no/we don't have times:
-Chloe: "I need a minute." Jack: "She doesn't have a minute!" Count it. Drink.
Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Cauterizing chopped thumb wounds.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Day 8 6pm - 8pm ::boop beep boop beep::
More marathon 24 sessions. Spotty wireless connection has given me a bit of a reprieve, but I'm back in action now.
6pm - 8pm
Last we left, Davros (multi-accent assassin dude) had his co-worker all hostaged and shot his wife up. Files were being decrypted. Dana/Jenny was all vague and obviously had not had a CTU background check. Why? Because CTU obviously doesn't do background checks. Obviously.
Kind of disappointed that Jack didn't scale the pole to get the serial number for the camera. If he had, maybe Chloe would have been able to save his rep from being a cop killer. And what's with the cop pussing out and letting his partner assume squeaky clean Jack is a cop-killer. Dude! you drop your weapon as soon as Jack tells you to and then keep your mouth shut? You BEST be making up for that in the next segment.
Where are we? DECRYPTING. so much decrypting goes on. I bet the key card to the Hassan's room is encrypted. I bet Dana/Jenny's past is encrypted. I bet Jack's tasered ass is encrypted now.
WHAT?? The entrance to CTU is an airstream trailer?
I'm kind of liking this Dana/Jenny thing with Kevin. What happened in Rock Hills or Falls or whatever? Don't let me down, 24!
UUGGHH. The cop beating on Jack is just annoying. Newbie cop John is a w.i.m.p.
Brother plots to murder brother. Cold blooded!
Jack is wearing a belly shirt. I see his belly button. For realz.
Who gives code red evacuation orders over speakerphone???? That doesn't seem to be protocol. I mean, I don't know what protocol is, but I'm 100% sure that isn't it. IT'S IN THE SEWER! IT'S IN THE SEWER!!! Danger! Danger! Things are really falling into place for Davros Greenmile (that's his name from now on).
Does Jason Schwartzman's body double have political aspirations of his own? I think he's going to try to take over the presidency.
Thankfully, Newbie-cop Do-Right finally did right and got our boy Jack back on the trail. WHEW! That was a close one. He's going to prove to be a valuable asset. But might not live through the day. Or will go by the wayside never to be seen or heard from (or thanked) ever again.
I think everyone at CTU is learning a valuable lesson about listening to Chloe and Jack.
Betcha Cole got blowed up (but lives) and saved Hassan. Ya think? Furthermore, for a bunch of geniuses, how do they not realize that the most dramatic things always happen at the top of the hour. Wouldn't you be on the lookout on the :50s and :55s?
7pm - 8pm
We rejoin the troops as they realize they all should have learned a valuable lesson and will now listen to Chloe and Jack forevermore. PS--i was totally right about Cole getting blowed. Not a scratch. He was probably wearing his seat belt like a good boy. Do you think he'll live through the day? I'm pretty sure that either he or Dana/Jenny won't. I'm starting to formulate my opinions on that one. Is it weird that I kind of have a 24 death pool? Nah. I'm good with it.
Soulpatch Schwartzman is a pen-stabber! He wields a pen. The pen is mightier than the sword! NO! JACK is mightier than the sword. You totally thought that Cole was dead, didn't you? Well, you were wrong. Why? Because Freddie Prinze Jr is too big a star to be killed 3 hours into Day 8.
Chloe: "I was actually thinking that he should be thanking Jack, then Cole, then maybe me." BEST.
And now, PRUNEY is back! Drink your prune juice and shine up your coffin...the Crypt Keeper returns!!! See last season's posts for side by side comparison. Although, the Renee pic they showed in her dossier (pronounced: DOSS-ee-ay), is probably an audition photo for Tales from the Crypt. She'll meet me in my nightmares.
Weapons grade Uranium? Instead, can we make it Plutonium so that Doc Brown can build us a time-traveling Delorean to let Jack go back in time and make the wise choice to become a veterinarian?
Ok. So far, Pruney is not so Pruney. She's more teen-angsty. Equally annoying. Good lord. How did Jack and Pruney keep a straight face through these scenes. They're talking in such fast, clipped sentences. And so quietly. And SO CLOSE.
Oh, for heaven's sake! Are they trying to make Pruney the next Jack Bauer? All hardened and world weary and putting her country before her sanity? Um....no. Just stop. Stop.
There's the Pruney we know. But it's not so much her resolve face. It's more her petulant brat face. Still Pruney, though.
Eew. Pruney is a BRAT.
Dana/Jenny is cornering the market on catch phrases tonight. If she says at any time that she's "pinned down," she'll have a trifecta.
Pruney is also a full-on close talker. And a psycho. What a sick twist she is. At least give a dude and Advil before you chop off his sweeping hand!
There's no/We don't have time(s):
-Hooray! First one of the season! Jack to Cole: "There's no time" (to get Hassan out of the evacuation plan)
-Dana/Jenny "I'm in the middle of a crisis. I don't have time."
Damnits:
-Dana/Jenny "Damnit, Arlo!" Can't blame her. He's pretty annoying.
-Jack Damit! Last word of the night. Priceless.
Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Saving CTU peeps in the nick of time with well-placed and timed bullets
6pm - 8pm
Last we left, Davros (multi-accent assassin dude) had his co-worker all hostaged and shot his wife up. Files were being decrypted. Dana/Jenny was all vague and obviously had not had a CTU background check. Why? Because CTU obviously doesn't do background checks. Obviously.
Kind of disappointed that Jack didn't scale the pole to get the serial number for the camera. If he had, maybe Chloe would have been able to save his rep from being a cop killer. And what's with the cop pussing out and letting his partner assume squeaky clean Jack is a cop-killer. Dude! you drop your weapon as soon as Jack tells you to and then keep your mouth shut? You BEST be making up for that in the next segment.
Where are we? DECRYPTING. so much decrypting goes on. I bet the key card to the Hassan's room is encrypted. I bet Dana/Jenny's past is encrypted. I bet Jack's tasered ass is encrypted now.
WHAT?? The entrance to CTU is an airstream trailer?
I'm kind of liking this Dana/Jenny thing with Kevin. What happened in Rock Hills or Falls or whatever? Don't let me down, 24!
UUGGHH. The cop beating on Jack is just annoying. Newbie cop John is a w.i.m.p.
Brother plots to murder brother. Cold blooded!
Jack is wearing a belly shirt. I see his belly button. For realz.
Who gives code red evacuation orders over speakerphone???? That doesn't seem to be protocol. I mean, I don't know what protocol is, but I'm 100% sure that isn't it. IT'S IN THE SEWER! IT'S IN THE SEWER!!! Danger! Danger! Things are really falling into place for Davros Greenmile (that's his name from now on).
Does Jason Schwartzman's body double have political aspirations of his own? I think he's going to try to take over the presidency.
Thankfully, Newbie-cop Do-Right finally did right and got our boy Jack back on the trail. WHEW! That was a close one. He's going to prove to be a valuable asset. But might not live through the day. Or will go by the wayside never to be seen or heard from (or thanked) ever again.
I think everyone at CTU is learning a valuable lesson about listening to Chloe and Jack.
Betcha Cole got blowed up (but lives) and saved Hassan. Ya think? Furthermore, for a bunch of geniuses, how do they not realize that the most dramatic things always happen at the top of the hour. Wouldn't you be on the lookout on the :50s and :55s?
7pm - 8pm
We rejoin the troops as they realize they all should have learned a valuable lesson and will now listen to Chloe and Jack forevermore. PS--i was totally right about Cole getting blowed. Not a scratch. He was probably wearing his seat belt like a good boy. Do you think he'll live through the day? I'm pretty sure that either he or Dana/Jenny won't. I'm starting to formulate my opinions on that one. Is it weird that I kind of have a 24 death pool? Nah. I'm good with it.
Soulpatch Schwartzman is a pen-stabber! He wields a pen. The pen is mightier than the sword! NO! JACK is mightier than the sword. You totally thought that Cole was dead, didn't you? Well, you were wrong. Why? Because Freddie Prinze Jr is too big a star to be killed 3 hours into Day 8.
Chloe: "I was actually thinking that he should be thanking Jack, then Cole, then maybe me." BEST.
And now, PRUNEY is back! Drink your prune juice and shine up your coffin...the Crypt Keeper returns!!! See last season's posts for side by side comparison. Although, the Renee pic they showed in her dossier (pronounced: DOSS-ee-ay), is probably an audition photo for Tales from the Crypt. She'll meet me in my nightmares.
Weapons grade Uranium? Instead, can we make it Plutonium so that Doc Brown can build us a time-traveling Delorean to let Jack go back in time and make the wise choice to become a veterinarian?
Ok. So far, Pruney is not so Pruney. She's more teen-angsty. Equally annoying. Good lord. How did Jack and Pruney keep a straight face through these scenes. They're talking in such fast, clipped sentences. And so quietly. And SO CLOSE.
Oh, for heaven's sake! Are they trying to make Pruney the next Jack Bauer? All hardened and world weary and putting her country before her sanity? Um....no. Just stop. Stop.
There's the Pruney we know. But it's not so much her resolve face. It's more her petulant brat face. Still Pruney, though.
Eew. Pruney is a BRAT.
Dana/Jenny is cornering the market on catch phrases tonight. If she says at any time that she's "pinned down," she'll have a trifecta.
Pruney is also a full-on close talker. And a psycho. What a sick twist she is. At least give a dude and Advil before you chop off his sweeping hand!
There's no/We don't have time(s):
-Hooray! First one of the season! Jack to Cole: "There's no time" (to get Hassan out of the evacuation plan)
-Dana/Jenny "I'm in the middle of a crisis. I don't have time."
Damnits:
-Dana/Jenny "Damnit, Arlo!" Can't blame her. He's pretty annoying.
-Jack Damit! Last word of the night. Priceless.
Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Saving CTU peeps in the nick of time with well-placed and timed bullets
Monday, January 18, 2010
Day 8 4pm - 6pm ::boop beep boop beep::
Here we go again.
I don't even remember where last season ended up except that Jack did NOT die of horrible virus, Pruney Renee was still pruney and making googly eyes at Jack, and the prez's daughter was a psycho and super annoying. Here's what I already know about this season: Jack is still saving the world, but this time in NYC. Pruney is still Pruney, Kim has spawned, President Creepy is going to be back (I think). Oh, and Freddy Prinze, Jr (aka that dude from She's All That) is in this season with a big, gay professional crush on Jack.
Ok, lets get this party started.
4pm - 5pm:
The season starts with, of course, ....wait for it....MURDER! DOUBLE MURDER! DRUG USE! CAR THEFT!!
I already love Kim's kid. "Grandpa! This isn't a cartoon!" Damn right. Cartoons are way better than that news shit.
Dude! Jack's not in NY for 1 year (for real--they say the show happens in real time after all) and he's already going back to LA? Is Jack a quitter now? I don't know, but he's still getting into all sorts of international drama. I suppose that takes dedication. or something.
Does anyone else thing Hassan's secretary dude looks pretty much exactly like Jason Schwartzman? If Jason Schwartzman was Indian and had a soul patch.
Victor! Wait--who is Victor? He has information, which totally means he's going to get shot through the window right before Jack hears about it. Oh...ok. So, he did get the information out. HAHAHA. "You're lucky I'm retired." Oh, Jack. Good scene.
Freddy Prinze Jr = Cole Ortiz
First Damnit of the season!!! HOORAY!!! Oh snap! Who is telling Chloe that she needs to catch up??? WTF? Up is down, left is right, all is not right with the world.
Who is the moley moley mole this season?? CTU is back, so there will probably be at least 4 moles. Taking bets. Who do you think?
OK! Answers! The First Dude divorced Madam Prez because she sent Psycho daughter to jail. Thank goodness!
I'm waiting for Jack to say that he's pinned down. And it's pretty awesome that he's making the shot dude take the stairs. That can't be good for him.
Oh man! RPGs in the first hour, huh? This day is gonna be EXPLOSIVE! Get it? Get it? I rule. You had to know the dude was going to die before Jack got all the info. I guess it would just have been a little obvious if it happened in Jack's apt. PS--the blonde reporter lady is totally just a reporter. 24, I'm on to you.
5pm - 6pm:
I can't deal with this whole 'Chloe being the slow kid' thing. Something's gotta blow up at CTU and they'll have to kick it old school. Then Chloe saves the day. Yeah. That's what will happen.
Oh wait! It already happened. I think everyone at CTU is going to learn a valuable lesson from this.
This really is a family show. So much family drama.
OOOOOH! Brother Mole! Nice one, Hassan's brother. This is a family show after all.
Grandbaby doesn't know how to just walk. That kid flat-out sprints everywhere!
Of course Jack decided to stay. He's going to have to take on yet another incompetent CTU director in that Hastings dude. And I seriously can't picture Hastings as anyone but Bubba from Forrest Gump.
At least some things never change. That Dana Walsh chick is really some Jenny broad? Again, I ask, Does CTU not do background checks on these people??!!?!? I mean, really. How many times must this nonsense happen?
Fakey cop is pretty funny. I love the NY accents. He's a NY cop. He's a Russian (I think?) assassin. He works on the Green Mile. Is there anything he can't do? He will make a formidable opponent for Jack.
Damnits:
-Chloe: "Damnit! What is the problem?!" First line of the season, too. I'm so proud.
-Jack: whisper "Damnit" when trying to wake up Victor's shot ass.
-Press Secretary barely "Damnit" when he finds out that Victor dude is dead.
-Reporter lady. "Damnit, who's in charge here!"
-''Damnit, Ruth! You told him how to find me?" Dana/Jenny chick who is making Chloe look bad.
Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Making tourniquets out of an old-ass dirty mattress.
-Blackmailing his way into terror-fighting.
I don't even remember where last season ended up except that Jack did NOT die of horrible virus, Pruney Renee was still pruney and making googly eyes at Jack, and the prez's daughter was a psycho and super annoying. Here's what I already know about this season: Jack is still saving the world, but this time in NYC. Pruney is still Pruney, Kim has spawned, President Creepy is going to be back (I think). Oh, and Freddy Prinze, Jr (aka that dude from She's All That) is in this season with a big, gay professional crush on Jack.
Ok, lets get this party started.
4pm - 5pm:
The season starts with, of course, ....wait for it....MURDER! DOUBLE MURDER! DRUG USE! CAR THEFT!!
I already love Kim's kid. "Grandpa! This isn't a cartoon!" Damn right. Cartoons are way better than that news shit.
Dude! Jack's not in NY for 1 year (for real--they say the show happens in real time after all) and he's already going back to LA? Is Jack a quitter now? I don't know, but he's still getting into all sorts of international drama. I suppose that takes dedication. or something.
Does anyone else thing Hassan's secretary dude looks pretty much exactly like Jason Schwartzman? If Jason Schwartzman was Indian and had a soul patch.
Victor! Wait--who is Victor? He has information, which totally means he's going to get shot through the window right before Jack hears about it. Oh...ok. So, he did get the information out. HAHAHA. "You're lucky I'm retired." Oh, Jack. Good scene.
Freddy Prinze Jr = Cole Ortiz
First Damnit of the season!!! HOORAY!!! Oh snap! Who is telling Chloe that she needs to catch up??? WTF? Up is down, left is right, all is not right with the world.
Who is the moley moley mole this season?? CTU is back, so there will probably be at least 4 moles. Taking bets. Who do you think?
OK! Answers! The First Dude divorced Madam Prez because she sent Psycho daughter to jail. Thank goodness!
I'm waiting for Jack to say that he's pinned down. And it's pretty awesome that he's making the shot dude take the stairs. That can't be good for him.
Oh man! RPGs in the first hour, huh? This day is gonna be EXPLOSIVE! Get it? Get it? I rule. You had to know the dude was going to die before Jack got all the info. I guess it would just have been a little obvious if it happened in Jack's apt. PS--the blonde reporter lady is totally just a reporter. 24, I'm on to you.
5pm - 6pm:
I can't deal with this whole 'Chloe being the slow kid' thing. Something's gotta blow up at CTU and they'll have to kick it old school. Then Chloe saves the day. Yeah. That's what will happen.
Oh wait! It already happened. I think everyone at CTU is going to learn a valuable lesson from this.
This really is a family show. So much family drama.
OOOOOH! Brother Mole! Nice one, Hassan's brother. This is a family show after all.
Grandbaby doesn't know how to just walk. That kid flat-out sprints everywhere!
Of course Jack decided to stay. He's going to have to take on yet another incompetent CTU director in that Hastings dude. And I seriously can't picture Hastings as anyone but Bubba from Forrest Gump.
At least some things never change. That Dana Walsh chick is really some Jenny broad? Again, I ask, Does CTU not do background checks on these people??!!?!? I mean, really. How many times must this nonsense happen?
Fakey cop is pretty funny. I love the NY accents. He's a NY cop. He's a Russian (I think?) assassin. He works on the Green Mile. Is there anything he can't do? He will make a formidable opponent for Jack.
Damnits:
-Chloe: "Damnit! What is the problem?!" First line of the season, too. I'm so proud.
-Jack: whisper "Damnit" when trying to wake up Victor's shot ass.
-Press Secretary barely "Damnit" when he finds out that Victor dude is dead.
-Reporter lady. "Damnit, who's in charge here!"
-''Damnit, Ruth! You told him how to find me?" Dana/Jenny chick who is making Chloe look bad.
Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Making tourniquets out of an old-ass dirty mattress.
-Blackmailing his way into terror-fighting.
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