Day 9: 1:00pm - 3:00pm ::boop beep boop beep::

Get ready to intercept some intel. You never know when you will find yourself faced with intel that needs...intercepting.  

An early Jack 'damnit' when our heroes realize there's no CCTVs at the back of the pub where dead guy got a screwdriver in the ear and where the Russian hooker surprised NO ONE by being an assassin. Start this off right and DRINK!

As much as we all respect the valiant efforts of Jack and his team of good guys, he really is doing nothing to improve the reputation of Americans abroad with his train platform violent outbursts. I should probably head over to London to try to salvage the reputation of the entire American public.

So now we know why Chloe went all Dragon Tattoo. She's being awfully supportive of Jack knowing that her hubs and son were killed for what she knows about his disappearance.

Can I start calling Russian hooker/Assassin girl Bloody Face? There could be some real magic in a 24/American Horror Story crossover event.

Boudreau is still keeping Jack a secret from not-catatonic Audrey? He's trying to be President, right? He's a sneaky Audrey svengali. Did I like her before? I can't remember. I'm now feeling like she's easily manipulated, which makes me not like her. And Tate Donovan-Boudreau can get hanged for forging the president's signature, right? For treason or something, right? Oh wait--he's already beating the drum that Heller's gone squishy in the head, so I'm sure he'll say that President Forgets-a-lot just forgot...a lot.

Pause: Man, how about Solange beating up Jay-Z in the elevator?? Have you seen that video? I want to know what that shit was about! I bet she said 'Damn' a few times, so take a few sips for that, too.

Dude. Mama Margot is is one cold-hearted bitch. The red wedding really changed her.

Anyone else forgetting that they're in London and only realizing it when car scenes show the steering wheel on the wrong side? Just me? It's totally throwing me off. London cars be crazy.

Oooooh. Cross is double-crossing Jack. That means he's going to be on the business end of Chloe's stinkiest stink-eye very shortly. Chills the soul. Prediction: Naveen doesn't live through the day.

Dude. Mama Margot is not only cold-hearted, but she's crazy in the batshit way. I know they've been leading us to that, but that is some creepy business going on right there.

HOLY SHIT!!!!  Jack? your civilian assault numbers are through the roof! Do we need a new drinking category this season? For a man who wants to protect the people, you sure do maim a lot of people. Aww. I can't stay mad at you. Good thing I have a week to process before we do this all over again.

Damnits:

-First scene in the pub and Jack drops a big 'damnit' in the pub bathroom. Dropping the Damnits off at the pool.

-"Three years ago. That means Heller authorized the attack. Damnit." Jack damnit but a whispered, so just take a sip.

There's no/we don't have time:

None? Apparently, we have all the time in the world. Did you catch any?

Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:

-Throat-punching civilians who try to act chivalrous in the subway. Pardon--the Underground.

-Convincing heads of hacking rings to do what he wants...by saying Please.