3:00pm - 4:00pm ::boop beep boop beep::

From real presidential speech to fake presidential speech. Weird.

First dude is trapped with the baddies! And they're going to use him to blackmail the prez? um....ok. Maybe Jack Bauer will save him. I like the prez. She's kind of hardcore. She's all, "I'll sacrifice my husband if I have to. Hell, I'm the prez, it's kind of my job. Sorry sweetie. I'll send Jack Bauer, but he didn't make any promises. I'm prepared to lose you." It's cold blooded, but I respect it.

Bill Buchanan is pretty smooth too. Renee Walker is a big pain in the ass. She really needs to step up her game. She can't recover the CIP device, she can't keep up with Jack Bauer, she can't save herself when buried alive. Useless.

They now know that Fetus Agent was one of the baddies. It's about time. Now they need to get Money-grubbing Agent. He's on shift at 4, you know. Jack is going to save the day! He has to take useless Renee with him, though. Really, she's only going to slow him down. Renee is totally booty calling Larry Moss to do what she wants! Well, not really booty calling, but they're having an affair and stuff, so she trusts the booty. Careful, Renee. It's burned others in the past.
I really wanted to change Larry's line from, "Oh my god. I thought I'd never see you again" to, "Oh, my god. You look like shit. I hope I never see you again." This show would be so much better if I wrote it. :-P

Billy Walsh better be careful. The Erica chick is going to exact some revenge on him. No doubt. Hell hath no fury like an agent with level 3 clearance scorned. She's got a case of the crazies. I promise you.

Jack is totally telling the lovebirds what's the what. The pair that Larry grew last week just retracted. He's nothing compared to La Bauer. It was a puss move throwing the keys, too. What a weenie. It's called collateral damage, L-Mo. Oh, I'm psyched that I just thought of that name. He's L-Mo from now on! Yippeeeeeee!!!

Yeah, Renee sucks at intimidation. Although, the baby looked scared. But I'm pretty sure he was just wondering if a vampire bit her neck. That's right, kid. a vampire named JACK'S GUN, BIATCH!!!! Mostly now he's afraid of her pruney face. You ARE a monster, Renee. A monster.

Taking out M-G Agent and his 90's pseudo bowl-cut hairdo. He looks like a character from Gleaming the Cube who just never changed his 'do. I can dig it.

DISGUISES??!?!?!! Oh, Bill! Thank you! This made my night. I love disguises.

Oh, snap! Renee can't handle the badassedness of intimidating mothers and babies, but she's in.....until tomorrow. Then she retires pruney face. What she doesn't know is that this will haunt her for the rest of her life....and L-Mo will never look at her the same way again. Oh, Renee, you're in for a rude awakening. In the meantime, L-Mo has his hands full with that rascal Billy Walsh.

What's up with waitress girl? There has to be some reason why the bad guy is with her. Her sister can't put the fright in him without something that throws a wrench in his plans, right? Evil geniuses don't really have girlfriends unless they are their evil henchmen (henchwomen?) or serve some evil purpose. Maybe waitress girl is in on this. I think her sister's gonna get dead, though.

It's a trap! It's a trap! Wasted disguises! Where's the First Dude? Is he dead? Or does he just have 8 fingers now?
Renee shot a guy! She's not useless!

Oh, man. The First Dude done got shot. They'll save him, though. The prez is going to have to explain how she was willing to let him die and junk. Awkward......

This episode made me kinda happy. We got back to the meat of 24 and multiple instances of our favorite catch phrases! Did I miss any?

Damnits:
-"Damnit. Which street is he on now?" (or something when they're chasing Money-Grubbing Agent) FINALLY a Jack Bauer Damnit!!!! Drink double!!!
-Whisper Damnit when he can't drive his crashed car! Finally, Jack! Have you been reading this? I didn't know if you loved us anymore, but now I feel the love!
-"Damnit, Renee! What the hell are you doing with this guy?" L-Mo damnit. He's jealous of Jack's awesomeness and thinks his lady friend is into Jack's hotness. So much Jack.

There's no/we don't have times:
-"We need you to go along with his demands and buy us some time. Madam President, you don't have another choice." If you jumble the words in those sentences, it totally counts. COUNT IT!!!
-"There's no time for that!" Renee trying to get her boyf to believe all her crazy-ass stories. Damn you, Renee! You're taking all the damnits and no-times!
-"You are running out of time" to M-G Agent trying to find the First Dude. Drink Triple!!!!

Things at which Jack Bauer is smooth:
-Double agentry. Duh. He even shocks the hell out of the prez. She didn't see it coming, but she's down with Jack plans. That's smooth.
-Using mirrors to surveil around corners. He should probably lend his compact to pruney face so that she can see what her pruney face looks like.